Those Lazy F***ers...

USPS is trying to stop delivery on Saturdays now!? No wonder we all use email now. (I only care about this because of Netflix.)

Why?!

Does my mouth turn upside down?

God

Our washing machine is being such a bitch today...not a big enough load for her prissy ass...front loaders...total prima donnas.

So...

Should I just go nutso and poodle Della's ass out, or keep her natural?

Dude

I know it was genius financially...but Courtney Love really shouldn't have ever had a kid...can you imagine? Add her to my douche bag...along with the Geldofs, and that princess Paula Yates. (Red wedding dress...haha! RIP.) God. Sucka for blondes with big tits. Pamela Anderson...that's another...

WHEN?

Will these Olympics be over?!

Um...

Shouldn't it be, You're So Gay??? Carly Simon's "You're So Vain," is about David Geffen. Isn't that part of the gay MO?! Get with the program toots.