Why?!

Does my mouth turn upside down?

God

Our washing machine is being such a bitch today...not a big enough load for her prissy ass...front loaders...total prima donnas.

So...

Should I just go nutso and poodle Della's ass out, or keep her natural?

Dude

I know it was genius financially...but Courtney Love really shouldn't have ever had a kid...can you imagine? Add her to my douche bag...along with the Geldofs, and that princess Paula Yates. (Red wedding dress...haha! RIP.) God. Sucka for blondes with big tits. Pamela Anderson...that's another...

WHEN?

Will these Olympics be over?!

Um...

Shouldn't it be, You're So Gay??? Carly Simon's "You're So Vain," is about David Geffen. Isn't that part of the gay MO?! Get with the program toots.

Maybe It Was Her Bangs

Dude, have you seen the hair on that crazy-smarty-pants-killer Amy Bishop? Maintaining those bangs, alone, would drive me bad shit insane...it didn't look like she used a flat iron either (have you seen the flips on that au naturel bob???!?)...but I do like the coy way she's tucked her hair behind her freakishly large ears in recent arrest pics. What a fucking doll. Now, let's get Anna Wintour on her ass. She needs a make-over.

I hate this term....

but I just realized I'm a sucker for a douchebag. Serge Gainsbourg really was a douchebag, right? A Parisian "treasure" but a douche nonetheless....shit...I also like Brandon Davis and that one-glove-wearing "pot" dealer, Tom Sullivan...and my female hero list is ripe with douches...Heidi Fleiss (she wears sweats!!!!!!!!!! Hell, she designed sweats), Victoria Sellers, Amy Fisher, Monica Lewinsky, Catherine Guinness, Ann Woodward, Tiffany Limos, all of that Kardashian family.

Just, please don't tell me Andy Warhol was a douche bag...or Edie Sedwick, because I just named my baby after her.

PS I'm suprised I don't like Spike Jonze

When Do You All Think It Will All Become Clear?

I'm on the right track, and we're onto a winner....